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No: Tunnel of Love, Candy Shop, Secret Garden, Pleasure Gate Equally No: Flesh Kabob, Magic Wand, Manmeat Especially No: Bearded Clam, Tube Steak, Sperm Puppet I could go on, but only for my own amusement. And if you ever saw a videotape of yourself in action, you’d agree. If one of your characters, in a dire moment of passion, hits a note that sounds eerily like Celine Dion, duly note this. The cool thing about sex—aside from its being, uh, sex—is that it engages all five of our human senses. Give us the scents and the tastes and the sounds of the act. By which I mean that I’d take a sweet, embarrassed pussyfart over a shuddering moan any day. Give us the indentations on the small of a woman’s back, or the minute trembling of a man’s underlip. It took me a few years (okay, 20) to realize this, but desire is, in the end, a lot sexier than the actual humping part. Don’t cut from the flirtatious discussion to the gag-defying fellatio. Let the drama of the seduction prime us for the action. I’m also talking sweat and saliva, which I consider to be the perfume of lovers, as well as whatever one chooses as a lubricant.
If another can’t stay hard, allow him to use a ponytail holder for an improvised cock ring. (Sesame oil is my current fave, but it changes from week to week.) Step 9: It takes a long time to make a woman come. So please, don’t try to sell us on the notion that a man can enter a woman, elicit a moan or two, and bring her off. In fact, I’d steer clear of announcing orgasms at all.
You mustn’t make of them naked playthings with rubbery parts.
From my personal experience, I did tell my lover to go deeper or fuck me harder. Yet, like many people in life, character can surprise you when the lights are off behind closed doors. Christian's "mouth presses into a hard line" 10 times.
We spoke dirty at times and the only thing we had in common at the time was having a great time between the sheets or wherever we were at the time, not once did we think of chores, bills or our respective wives and husbands. ", "Take my whole shaft", and the "Come for me" moments. Characters "murmur" 199 times, "mutter" 49 times, and "whisper" 195 times (doesn't anyone just talk?
Consider the following sentence: “She wet her palm with her tongue and reached for my penis.” Now consider this alternative: “She wet her palm with her tongue and reached for me.” Is there any real doubt as to where this particular horndoggle is reaching? Just telling the reader that two (or more) people are balling will automatically direct us toward the genitals. If you want to represent the truth of the acts, pay homage to the resultant wetnesses.
Step 2a: Resist the temptation to use genital euphemisms, unless you are trying to be funny. It is your job, as an author, to direct us elsewhere, to the more inimitable secrets of the naked body. And I’m not just talking about semen or vaginal fluid.