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Lesbians are often divided into two (very dated and overly-simplistic) categories: “femme” and “butch.” Since the moment I came bounding out that dark, repressive closet, the jury quickly charged me with being a "femme."“Oh my God, you're such a FEMME! Or the oxblood red lipstick and the mountain of mascara caked to my long, fluffy eyelashes? As I grew more comfortable in the scene, I began to recoil at the word "femme." “I'm NOT A FEMME!
I don't where the rumor comes from, but somehow it's circulated that girly girls don't have a work ethic.
When really, in my experience, girly girls tend to have an insanely impressive work ethic, one that exceeds all genders and stereotypes. When I think about it, they treat the girls in dresses like bimbos."(Disclaimer: I'm in no way saying masculine-presenting women have it any easier than feminine-presenting women.
Myth 4) The longer a person has been dating more than one expert they are If a person has been dating for years and years, they will be experienced in dating, but not necessarily an expert at getting what they want.
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"I didn't know you worked so hard."“If only,” I muttered, thinking about the gruesome hours it takes to write a well-written viral article, plus the hours of coaching yourself to not be crushed and terrified by the sexist cyberbullies who write you lovely private messages like "I hope you get raped and die," only to be paid significantly less than your male counterparts for the same job, but who, of course, don't deal with a fraction of the daily harassment and abuse from internet trolls. When I go the lesbian bar with other girls adorned in frilly dresses, there tends to be a collective shock when the femmes say they're CEOs, doctors and lawyers. And it really just goes to show that no matter what scene you're in, whom you're attracted to, or how marginalized of a community you are, femininity is still all too often seen as less powerful, less monied, and less intelligent than masculinity. After all, my collection of Kat Von D Everlasting Liquid Lipstick doesn't pay for itself.
I can see it on people's faces: As if one has anything to do with the other. And that's got to change because that rhetoric isn't only tired; it's toxic. I've worked for my cherished collection of cruelty-free designer lipsticks.
And to deprive yourself of feeling Now, I own the word “femme” like I own the words “dyke” and “slut.” I think being hyper-feminine is awesome, and if you want to make assumptions about my character based on my personal style, I don't care to rub elbows with you anyway. But I'm finally here and it's so much better on this side.
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