Invalidating families

When we are attacked, our survival instinct tells us to defend ourselves either through withdrawal or counter-attack. " Then she said, "Because I don't like it when you look so serious."I understand a little about why she didn't want me to think so much or look so serious.

Self-injury is probably the result of many different factors. They distract themselves with TV, movies, music, shopping, sports, religion, drugs, alcohol etc. Those things don't help me find answers to my questions.

They were taught at an early age that their interpretations of and feelings about the things around them were bad and wrong. So I suppose they think they can tell someone how to feel and, then like magic, that will work, too.

They learned that certain feelings weren't allowed. Now I am wondering,..someone says, "Don't think so much," how does one do that?

For example, let's say I am traveling with someone and I say I am afraid someone could come into our room and steal my laptop computer if they keep leaving the door unlocked. " With a troubled look on his young face, the boy quietly said, "Not good." In response Sue exclaimed, sounding surprised and incredulous, "Not good!? I watched him take a few steps, then just stand there, alone. Maybe his father was the type who would try to distract his son with thrilling and risky sports such as hang gliding, soccer, surfing, and race car driving. I just stood there, stunned, while I watched and made mental notes. Now you might think this one incident is a small thing. Maybe they are good listeners when it really counts. Either way, they all could have handled that situation much better. To remind everyone that it is these little interactions with children that make a difference in their lives and in society. When I got there, she didn't seem very happy to see me. I tried to explain to her what I was afraid of and she said, "Don't think so much." (Actually, looking back, maybe it would have helped. " Then maybe I could have explained it to her and she would have learned something useful and it would have started us on a path of better communication and understanding.

If they tell me "don't worry", then I am more worried, because they are not taking my fear seriously and they may just keep leaving the door unlocked. I bet it is heaps of fun." Then she turned her attention back to the boy's parents. I still find it hard to believe that anyone could miss a child's reaction that completely. This is probably how he was taught to deal with feelings by his father and by the Australian culture. I probably will never forget the dejected way he turned and walked away. I want it to inspire me to keep working for the needs of children and teenagers. If one were to ask that child how much he felt understood, between 0 and 10, at that moment, what might he have said? It is unlikely considering what happened next, but maybe with someone else it could have helped.)I just sat there, stunned. Then I said, "Why don't you want me to think so much?

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