Sociology and dating trends lebanese dating customs
Besides dating and mate selection is not about volume it’s about quality and intimacy in the relationship.To help you better understand this let’s learn a few key principles that apply to the realistic processes we use to date and mate select.When we’ve hurt someone’s feelings, we don’t feel even the slightest bit inclined to apologize or to make good on our wrongs. A person’s emotions, even if caused by something we did or said, is up to them to resolve. We’re in the thick of a hookup culture that values sex more than love, temporary fulfillment instead of life-long commitment and lazy ass communication that often gets lost in translation.We feel entitled to walk around acting like complete losers with the expectation that the way it’s received is a reflection of the person we dump our stuff on and nothing to do with the fact that we were the cruel ones. We’re all so confused by our own pasts, and with heaps of more stuff constantly being added to the pile, we’re all becoming more and more jaded than ever before.No one is clear about their intentions, some lie about their intentions entirely just to have their ego’s stroked for a while, and basically no one has any clue wtf is going on.We don’t feel accountable for the pain we inflict on to others.And most of the time, sex doesn’t lead to a relationship — it leads to heartache, confusion and another one-night stand with the next person. There’s little gratitude for honest and happy emotions. Responding right away comes across as desperate and too available.It’s amazing how millennials view the luxury of having instant access to communication as something we need to treat as if we’re still using carrier pigeons. Social media and thousands of dating profiles shoved in our faces leads us to believe we’re entitled a fairy tale life that doesn’t truly exist.
If someone did this to us in real life, it would be completely psychotic, but because it’s over text or an instant message, we’ve somehow resigned ourselves to thinking it’s OK. Even in the golden ages, the “Dear John” letter was left on the table in the foyer, but now, we’re lucky if you even get a typed string of characters saying “I’m sorry, it’s not working.” We’re hyper-focused on sex.
Figure 1 shows the basic date and mate selection principles that play into our filtering processes (This inverted pyramid metaphorically represents a filter that a liquid might be poured through to refine it; IE: coffee filter).
That couple in the bottom right-hand corner is my wife and I on a field trip to the Association for Applied and Clinical Sociology in Ypsilanti, Michigan.
When we see people we filter them as either being in or out of our pool of eligibles. We might include some because of tattoos and piercing or exclude some for the exact same physical traits.
Filtering is the process of identifying those we interact with as either being in or out of our pool of people we might consider to be a date or mate. We might include some because they know someone we know or exclude the same people because they are total strangers.